Her week in review (w/o 10/16)

Happy Sunday, TV watchers! Hope you enjoyed this week's shows as much as I did. Here's the rundown:


Best self pep talk: The next time you need to build your confidence, try this one on for size: "Let's dialate. Let's do it, ya know what I mean?" Ok, so maybe it won't work in all situations. But it did for an about-to-pop Reagan on Up All Night. And I found myself rewinding the scene. It was that inspiring. Or hilarious.

Best quote: Thanks to Brad on Happy Endings for this little gem. "That waitress looks like she wants a piece of your downstairs goatee!" Oh, how I love me some Damon Wayans Jr.

Biggest witch news: No, it's not that Bonnie on The Vampire Diaries now has to compete with dead vampire Anna for Jeremy's affections. The Secret Circle has some even more crazy drama going down. Jake, brother of recently killed witch Nick, has returned to town. He has a rocky past with Adam, used to date Fey and broke her heart, and now appears to possibly be interested in Cassie, who, according to what's written in the stars, is supposed to be with Adam, even though he's dating Diana. Diana just learned of this, and tired of watching Adam make googley eyes over Cassie all the time, tells him to figure out his feelings and breaks up with him. But, back to Jake. Since he's of the same bloodline as Nick, he now completes the circle again. But does he know he's a witch, yes he does. But, his real reason for returning to town? To kill all the witches! Now that is one messed up dude witch.

Biggest loss: Now, I don't watch sports on a regular basis. So the only thing I could be talking about is Team Meatball! You know, Snooki and Deena. These ladies sure had a rough night on the Jersey Shore Reunion. Snooki saw clips of some of her roommates saying they might believe the Situation was telling the truth about them hooking up, something she adamantly denies. She even called her non-meatball BFF JWoww. a bitch. Damn, Snook. That girl followed Gionni all over Italy until her feet bled for you. And Deena - did you see that hair? Girl was about a week and a half early for Halloween, looking all like Elvira. Meatball problems!

Favorite moment: Beckett, trying her hardest to push aside her feelings for Castle (for some reason unknown to me), can't help but be jealous when another woman shows some interest in him. She tells her therapist, "He's supposed to be my partner, on my team. Not - smitten." See, you know you love him, detective. Even the aforementioned woman caught on. She told Castle she doesn't take things that belong to someone else. Fingers crossed this is the start of Kate letting her real feelings come through.


And finally, what?!? There really isn't a better way to reference the craziness that went down on American Horror Story this week. We learned that back in the day, creepy neighbor Jessica Lange shot her husband as well as the young version of the maid, IN THE EYE, when she saw them on the bed together. That same maid's body is buried in the backyard, although she continues to roam around, seemingly alive, as a housekeeper men see as her younger hot self and women see as an old lady with a wonky eye. Another man who used to live there kept unborn fetuses in jars in the basement. Current "murder house" owner Ben thinks he may have killed one of his patients, but can't remember because hot young maid might be drugging him. Lucky(?) for him, turns out the patient just slit her wrists attempting suicide in front of him, but he didn't do it. Unlucky for him, the young student he cheated on his wife with back in Boston shows up saying she's going to have his baby, not get an abortion like they discussed. But then as they exit the house, another creepy previous owner of the house (who has burns all over his body because he tried to burn it down with him and his family in it - they didn't make it) clocks the young woman in the head with a shovel, killing her instantly. Then he offers to bury the body but tells Ben he sure could use some money. So...that's the long version, best summed up as, what?!?

His Wednesday must-watch (10/19)

What am I watching tonight? Obviously Revenge, but that's been a must-watch for 2 weeks running so maybe it's time for it to take a break. You all know I'm watching it anyway.

So what else is on? Well, there's Happy Endings, which I did not watch out of the gate in the Spring, but have caught a little of this year. I think it's pretty funny, but it honestly hasn't made it to automatic "record" status quite yet. Maybe I'll check that out.

There's also game one of the World Series (that's baseball for those of you that don't like sports). Too bad this year the final 2 teams (St. Louis and Texas) provide us with what promises to be a complete snooze-fest of a series. So that's out.

Ooh! An E! True Hollywood Story about Casey Anthony. Umm...pass.

So I guess tonight I will turn my must-watch attention to a show that has so far come highly recommended from her, American Horror Story (10/9c, FX). Now I haven't watched the pilot, so I'll be going back to do some catching up, but from all accounts so far this show brings some disturbing things to Wednesday nights. I don't know how I feel about Connie Britton playing a role other than Tammy Taylor, but we'll see.

Her week in review (w/o 10/9)

Time for another week in review! One of my DVRs was actually 100% full earlier in the week, so I had a lot to watch and a lot of potential week in review nominees to consider. But here are the winners.

Best quote: After Max and Caroline from 2 Broke Girls sneak back into Caroline's old house, specifically the closet, alarms sound when Max tries to grab a fur off the rack. "Why would you wire the furs?" Max asks Caroline. Caroline's response, with a bite guard in her mouth? "Everybody wires the furs, biiiiitch!" She just might be my favorite rich girl turned diner waitress ever.

A long way from Home Improvement award: Tim Allen's character on Last Man Standing sure has a lot more liberty to say things Tim the Toolman Tailor never could on network television back in his day. A couple quotes worth noting? "You slice it, mouth to anus" (don't worry, it's fish-killin' talk) and "It smells like balls in here." Tim, you just got this viewer to tune in for another week.

Most underused guest star award: Josh Groban appeared on The Office this week as Andy's brother. Josh. Groban. He must have sung, you say. Why, yes he did. It must have been incredible, you declare. No, no it wasn't. At all. You hire Josh Groban to sing a duet with the father from Seventh Heaven, and don't allow him to hit any amazing notes? I was more intrigued by Dwight's fire dance.

Oh no he di'int award: This one goes to Max on Happy Endings. While trying to scam tourists into paying for his limo tour, he informs one woman, "Sixty bucks a head, eighty if your head is larger, which you fall into that category." Oh no he di'int! I laughed. She paid. Everybody won. Now that's comedy.

Don't make me smack your pretty face, Beckett award: It's no surprise who wins this one. Dr. Oz. Kidding! Detective Kate Beckett from Castle, obvi. Now, I love Kate. I wish she'd let Castle frisk her sometime this decade, but I try to forgive her for playing so hard to get because I genuinely like her character. And then she goes and says something like this: "Damn, Castle, look at you thinking like a real cop." Um, hello? Where have you been practically every episode of this series so far? He's solved cases, saved lives, even your life for jeeper's sake. Give him a break. And a kiss. And that's an order.

Her Wednesday must-watch (10/12)

Happy Wednesday everybody! And what could be a better end to hump day than a little Happy Endings (9:30/8:30c, ABC)? Somewhere in fictional Colorado TV land, Michael Scott's words echo off the mountains: That's what sheeee saaaaaiiidddd!

Reasons to watch this show:
-I've never heard someone who's watched this show say they didn't like it.
-Coach! Damons Wayans Jr. is just a part of this great ensemble cast.
-Unlike other shows over the past few years that have attempted the ensemble cast route to ratings a la Friends, (Perfect Couples, Traffic Light), this one is connecting with audiences and critics alike.
-Funny lady Megan Mullally is guest starring tonight as Penny's mom. A-mah-zing!
-Last but not least, it's my must-watch, biiiitch!

Her Sunday must-watch (10/9)

Alright, tonight I'm going with my same pick from last week: The Good Wife (9/8c on CBS). I feel like I have to work hard to sway the younger TV fans (read: those of you younger than 60) out there to check this show out. Why do I think this?

-Penny on Happy Endings made a crack a couple of weeks back about not watching The Good Wife because she's not old. Penny, I love you, you're a-mah-zing, but you're totes wrong here.

-My local morning radio DJ said this is one of the only shows he watches. He's sixty-something.

-It airs on CBS, which has an average audience member age of 70. Okay, I made that up. But it's probably closer to that than 30, is all I'm sayin'.

So, if you're on the younger side, check this show out tonight. What else are you doing on a Sunday eve? And if you're on the older, er, more mature side, add this show to your must-watch list if it isn't already. You know you're already watching everything else on CBS.

Her Wednesday must-watch (10/5)

Connie Britton from Friday Night Lights. Denis O'Hare from True Blood. Jessica freakin Lange from too many things to mention. Dylan McDermott from The Practice, and my dreams. These are just some of the amazing cast members that star in my Wednesday must-watch: American Horror Story (10/9c on FX).

It's not often a show like this comes along - I think. I don't know a heck of a lot about this show, except that a family moves from Boston to Los Angeles to get away from their past, just to find themselves in a new situation that doesn't exactly seem awesome. At least that's the vibe I get from the suspense-filled promos filled with  quick cutaways that remind me of a horror movie trailer. Regardless, American Horror Story has me intrigued. Want a sneak peek? You can watch the first 5 minutes of the show here.

I'm excited. I'm scared. I'll probably watch with the light on and a phone nearby in case I need to call for help. And I'll definitely be saving Happy Endings or Modern Family to watch afterwards to make sure I'm in a laughing mood rather than a panic attack mood before bed. Here's hoping Cam's bike shorts make a cameo.

Blasts from the SNL past

Three former Saturday Night Live funny ladies are now making us laugh with their weeknight sitcoms: Maya Rudolph (Ava on Up All Night), Casey Wilson (Penny on Happy Endings) and Ana Gasteyer (Sheila aka the shouting neighbor on Suburgatory).

Don’t want to wait until next week to see these ladies again? Check out the links below for some SNL sketches you may remember.

Maya Rudolph

Casey Wilson

Ana Gasteyer

By the way, who’s your favorite of the three sitcom characters? My vote goes to Penny. As we learned last night on the Happy Endings season premiere, it’s “the year of Penny!” – which you know is awesome, because it’s like, four times longer than the “summer of George.”

Her Tuesday must-watch

Not only did He beat me to announcing New Girl as Tuesday's must-watch, he also stole my intro line! How can you not love a show where the awkwardly-adorable main character writes theme songs for herself? I'm totally devoting some free time - when not posting for all of you - on my own little ditty. Who's that girl who watches all the TV and writes about it and stuff...it's Her/Me! Okay, it needs some work.

Seriously though, I cannot wait for another kicka$$ episode of what looks to be one of the Fall's top new shows. Zooey Deschanel is hilarious and lovable as Jess. And I can't wait to see how her individual relationships with her three male roomies develop. Could one of them be a love interest? It's just too bad Coach has to leave us so soon. (See him on Happy Endings tomorrow night!) I would've enjoyed watching Jess teach him how to talk to women without him yelling back in their faces - "I don't care!" Classic Coach.

Here's hoping tonight's episode also includes the cast singing a song from Dirty Dancing. Or at the very least, a long walk with a watermelon.